Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Final Video Idea

As I think about my father's final transition of life I was inspired to make my final video about him...after all, I can't think about anything else. This class has taught me so many things and I was excited to have the opportunity to apply them in my father's honor for his funeral. I sat down to scan, upload adjust all of my photos began collecting vocal footage from voice mail messages etc. but I still have not let go of my nagging need for perfection....though it is impossible to achieve. I was vexed that my sound was off...I wish I had a shotgun mic I thought to myself as the funeral services went on. I wish my camera was in hd when we captured family moments...etc. then I would be able to make a video worthy of my fathers memory. Even after accepting my technical limitations I still emotionally found it nearly impossible to assemble because of the emotional difficulty despite the technical ease that this process now has because of practice. I ended up having to turn the initial job over to my friend to do his funeral video...perhaps that was too ambitious of me to think that I could possibly make the best video ever and do it in such emotional conditions with only a 4 day window. I was tormented. I did however make a video for him leading up to the funeral.

I have finally come to a resolve of accepting my limitations in this instance. I have also resolved to do a memorial video in my father's honor to give to friends and family. I would like to do it as my final video. I hope that I can get through it.

Here is a video I took when I went home of dad. I encouraged him to say 'lindsey i love you' at this stage he was very confused so scripting was necessary.




My Creative Process Writing Prompt

Describe your personal creative or research process. Provide any information you can on typical approach to creative inquiry in your field. Define the word research as it relates to your work:

 

My creative process works best when I am in alignment spiritually with the surrounding universe. It must be sincere. It starts with right brain thinking and the spirit. The left brain logic comes second hand. In my poetry, most of my work is free written and never edited first drafts. Interestingly, the poems I have edited people prefer them less to my raw poems. This says something to the point of sincerity. As Twyla Tharp alluded to, I have been a victim of my own thoughts, my own internal editor inviting me to fear povery. As an African American woman there are a lot of things that you dream of becoming, poor is not one of them. The more statistics I read, the more it evokes a sense of fear that makes me question the reliance on my internal spirit guide because it seems the academy feels its invalid. In my field I don’t know how creative inquiry is gone about since Communications is such a broad field. Those who are on the quantitative side seem to rely on ocular centric evidence and many of the qualitative types rely on auditory evidence and other forms…there are some that also invite spirit evidence. Gut feelings. Inner knowings. I am such a scholar in my private time but not in my ‘research’ at this point.

How I came into this: Background in mktg and adv --wanted to change marketing discourse around representation. Being a producer of media allows some progress in that area…additionally since I have been here I have been feeling more and more detached from non-academics. I feel the academy has a bad habit of hoarding knowledge and not sharing in an accessible way. Im a slam poet and a former corporate marketer and I got used to the idea of living a double life. Creativity seems more free and honest than ‘research’ in its connotation.

 

Idea for my Documentary

I have been personally interested in the area of African American females wearing their natural hair for a while and I have personally transitioned to natural hair from chemically straightened hair. Many African American mothers are interested in cultivating a positive self esteem for their daughters by showing them media and toys that affirm their natural beauty. Dolls are of concern to the community and though dolls have made progress over the years to become more inclusive, the hair is often straight. This makes some sence seeing that most african american women wear their hair straightened however there is a growing resurgance of women wanting to reclaim their natural beauty and want to see it replicated for their daughters. Some women have resorted to trolling or rerooting doll hair in order to replace the factory hair with kinky hair or even dreadlocks. I was thinking about interviewing Black women with an interest or concern for natural hair and their thoughts on dolls and also a woman who has specialized in spinning dreadlocks for dolls.

One issue I have come across is that the woman is sick and can not meet in person so we have been emailing only. I can incorporate our emailed conversations in the video perhaps. So far I am thinking of a mixture of found and original footage. Found footage may be from media that has dealt with black identity as it relates to natural hair (Good Hairmovie, Tyra Banks Show, My nappy Roots, Advertisements) original footage possibly of ladies I may interview or of me attempting to re-root a doll. Here are some of the questions I may ask the re-rooter:




How long have you been in the business of re-rooting/trolling?

What led you to the business?

Can you briefly describe the differences between of re-rooting, trolling and repainting?

What do you feel your work contributes to society? Why is this craft/trade important to you?

What are challenges that get in your way?

What plans do you have to pass the torch if any (since you mentioned you have retired)?

Could you describe your process of making the hair (spinning, dying etc)?

Can you describe the types of hair you have and what effects you get by combining them?

As an African American female who grew up with dolls with nylon hair I was particularly awe stricken by your dolls and dolls that were made by your hair. Did you intentionally create dolls to feel this void or was it more serendipitous?

How does this work make you feel?

How profitable has this business been for you? If you don't do the business for profit primarily, why do you do it?

How does it feel to know that you have personally done what doll makers refuse to do which is to acknowledge the natural beauty of black women?

Where do you normally get your dolls from and why?

For Ladies interested in natural hair dolls i may ask:

Is it important to you that your child plays with a doll with natural hair?

If given the option between a straight haired doll and a natural doll which would you choose?

How much would you be willing to pay for a doll with natural looking hair (dreads etc)?

Have you ever attempted to buy such a doll for your child or someone you know?

Reflect on your own experience with dolls, what would this have meant to you?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Videos i have created so far:

Green:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bj9rMSuMSI

Red:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-hHmlTbVGg

Gold:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfvdFhG3wv0

Don't Throw me away rough draft 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBry1p23NCo

Don't Throw me away rough draft 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XhzYIGcDX8

Red wine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HlXNADvtTc

Is everybody going crazy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udxFcvks8Ak

Theo Valentines Day video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT2cGLXVVbU

(Due to copyright issues the sound is missing. I have the file on my computer.)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

10 things i noticed today (week2)

[gallery]

Day 1

  1. I have great friends

  2. Chocolate ice cream cake is decadent!

  3. I have a pink shirt i haven't worn in a long time! Cute!

  4. I LOVE surprises. Nothing better. The only thing better than parties are surprise parties. Yayyyyyy!!!!!!

  5. Woaahhh this random guy thought i was making a pass at him...lol...um no.

  6. I really like my gifts. Simple yet perfect. My friends know me really well. That makes me feel really good.

  7. WATCHING my friends do karaoke is fun!

  8. Seeing that I don't drink, the drinks that I am drinking are really having an effect on me

  9. I made 4 new friends tonight

  10. I feel good!


Day 2

  1. It's my Birthday

  2. Shopping for something to wear to my party...Nothing says birthday like glitter or shimmery beading! :-)

  3. Reflexology massage...somehow the pulling on my hands and feet is making my neck tingle...i hope that's normal. I feel like a queen.

  4. Yay free birthday food!! Whoo hoo!!!

  5. Party is awesome! Like grown up chucky cheese!

  6. I feel love all around me!

  7. Look at how beautiful my orchid is. Laurie bought me a birthday orchid. We love the same flowers. Orchids, lillies, and also some roses and tulips.

  8. Look at all the lights and fun around me! I am so excited!

  9. I still have my 'touch' I beat the high score in the basketball game.

  10. Lunch with my friend and coffee with another, finished off with a birthday bash...not a bad day!


Day 3

  1. Woke up reeeeeallly late. So much for awareness

  2. Look at all of my fun gifts my friends got me! They are so cute! We played games all night and at the end they put all of their tickets together (1200) to buy me gifts! How sweet is that!!! lol I got a disney princess ball and an elmo plush. Expensive winnings yes, but the experiance was priceless. Definately the best birthday I have had in a long time.

  3. On the road to see the BF. Couldn't imagine not being able to spend it with him. I am a little bummed bc I mis-heard him and thought he had the following week off and he was coming here. Oh well....on the road again. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TD_pSeNelU)

  4. Yay im excited, my bf told his cast its my birthday maybe we are going to have bday party num 3!

  5. I was wrong. No party tonight. Just hanging out with the cast members.

  6. Great. fight with the bf. way to top off my bday. i guess i should have stayed home.

  7. Ugghh the energy is all wrong.

  8. I hate applebees :-(

  9. Grrr what a bad night.

  10. Stomach is cramping.


Day 4

  1. Trying to forget about yesterday. There's plenty of time for birthday on a lazy sunday.

  2. Great! the Bf's director called an impromptu rehersal which is going to take 5 hours AFTER their already scheduled play. I give up.

  3. Decided to stay in and stream Agape church because my energy is headed south!

  4. Feeling really great because I get to stream with Laurie. Rev is talking about being your self! Perfect.

  5. Oh well...since I can't have the birthday celebration with the BF that I want, I am gonna have some self celebration at the mall...Arden B sent me a coupon and godiva has choc covered strawberries.

  6. Welp...godiva is out of milk choc strawberries and arden b for the first time ever has nothing that I want. good grief.

  7. Eating some other kind of Godiva strawberries. Close second.

  8. Talking w Laurie...she's having guy probs. Glad to be there for her.

  9. Met up with the BF in transition to his rehersal for about 45 min and we had Del Taco....gross.

  10. Spent the bulk of the day by myself and learning how to make a zipper necklace. On the one hand today mostly sucked. On the other, I had good fellowship, a good word, a decent berry or two and learned something I have been wanting to do. I at least feel good about getting the first part of the necklace done.


DAY 5

  1. When it rains it pours...literally. Gonna be a long drive home.

  2. I asked theo to grab me french toast breakfast. Greatful that he got it.

  3. Theo filled up my gas tank twice this weekend. That felt good. Especially because I didn't ask him.

  4. Wild turkeys on the side of the road!

  5. Woah i can't see anything--my windows are iced over

  6. Went to get groceries and had to venture into the 'processed' section that i never go into to make sure i had food incase the power went out. Something weird about eating food with such a long shelf life :-/

  7. As serious as the situation in egypt is...the BF and i were laughing at some of the images conjured up in our heads painted by the news. Mainly that they were running down the streets with Samauri swords and pitch forks. Random...but effective. Nothing says get out of town Mubarak like a Samauri sword!

  8. Yummmmy Sun dried tomatoe hummus and garlic herb pita chips!

  9. Canceling my class tomorrow. They are talking about crazy storms tomorrow!

  10. Can't sleep.


Day 6

  1. Lazy snow day. And tech failures. Can't get my videos to act right. Our internet is down and i can't go anywhere. Too many learning curves. This is a new mac so nothing is second nature. Ugh.

  2. I was supposed to be having fun with this video project but its giving me a terrible time :-/

  3. I have resolved that my videos will be far from perfect. Sigh.

  4. Classes are canceled tomorrow! Maybe I can figure it out then

  5. Movie night with the roomies! Yay slumber party.

  6. Ok...how did the clutter come back to my room. Darn you clutter fairy!

  7. My orchid is lovely!

  8. Thinking about buying my roomate flowers for valentines day since she doesn't have a bf.

  9. Snow is starting to fall!

  10. RACHAEL! >:-O

Thursday, January 27, 2011

10 things i noticed today


  1. I took a new way home and realized there are dinosaurs in champaign!

  2. I love creating things and have been newly inspired to make art out of repurposed 'stuff'

  3. My jade is fine :-)

  4. I love my hair. Its strong, curly, natural and authentic.

  5. the warm covers on my body as the coldness surrounds outside puts me to sleep. This has to be one of the reasons babies cry when they come out of the womb.

  6. I am interested in learning more about the material that common advertising waste is made out of and then repurposing it. Inspiration starts in my heart. There is a literal sensation that makes it jump and tingle and makes me bouncy and steps springy :-)

  7. I love the smell of my soy candles ...and I feel great that they are soy

  8. I want Godiva chocolate covered strawberries

  9. I am sooooo glad I don't have to do anything on my birthday tomorrow

  10. I need to go to the gym! Can't wait to see what a couple months of training will do.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

10 Things i noticed today.


  1. When i cut my onions today...I cut the onions. When I chopped my cilantro...I chopped the cilantro. No distractions just paying attention. And my food tasted even better.

  2. Reading Deepak chopra's 3rd Law of success...the law of Karma...it is talking about doing good to others even when u don't want to. The energy will come back. Do good when you want to do so the least. To the person you don't want to do it for. I bought my roomate a cupcake.

  3. Life is short. Eat dessert first! :-D

  4. I wish that people could stay babies. Or at least children. Before the days of manipulation, and fear based decision making.

  5. Streamed live to Agape Spiritual Center's wed service. One thing that came out of it: emotion is a subset of our perception. God doesnt have perception. God has vision of reality. That is why god is constant....I am glad that God is not as emotional as I am. How scary would that be...Emo God.

  6. I fell asleep asking 'how can I best be of service?' last night...i only saw something that looked like a restaurant. I think i got distracted while meditating lol! I must discipline my mind.

  7. My jade plant is thirsty

  8. I am excited! My friends Laurie and Natalie are planning a birthday party for me! Yay!

  9. I slept wrong, wrong, wrong last night....

  10. This morning, I went to the mirror after my 'mirror fast' and realized I am not as 'fat' as I thought. I think I am probably at least 20 lbs smaller than what I thought i looked like in my mind. How did my perception get so warped? I actually like my body! Go figure. Now i just gotta tighten the gears a bit :-)