nothing like what I thought was going to be my final video but the one for my dad was getting me to emotional and was taking a longer time consequently. I turned to my poetry as a coping mechanism and serendipitously fell into a partnership with a social work student who I performed for her class. She wanted to work with me on my poem...which worked out great because the other projects I was working on were stalling.
Here is the poem that I wrote...I performed it slightly differently than this script. Here is the initial script that I wrote.
Coloring Book
When I was just a child,
Colors
Were a part of my art lessons.
Things teachers hung on the walls as inspiration and gateways for self-expression.
Like God gift wrapped the rainbow just for our amusement.
There were never mistakes.
Never any rules about when and where to use them.
I colored in the pictures, skipped right over the lines and never once
looked over my shoulder while doing so.
I would color the corners, my desk, the walls—the world was my palate and I could transcend all boundaries.
No one could contain or own such beautiful colors
And one would be a fool to try.
But soon,
I was introduced to a new coloring system.
“Stay in the lines” they said.
Only brown and green could be used for trees.
“No, no, no..there’s no such thing as a purple elephant,
Here let me get you a grey crayon.”
Soon even I could see the separation.
Blues from greens,
Reds from yellows,
But none so much so as white from black.
They were the mysterious unused crayons that refused to mingle
Or the black would smudge the perfection of the white tip,
Or the white would dilute the power statement of pitch black.
The world became like my crayon box.
Not the ways of blending but the separation.
Only the black and white.
Fixated on the black and white.
Why is everything so damn black and white?
And even when other colors emerged, they held similar boundaries.
Soon I knew without question where to sit in the lunchroom and on the bus…
Which church to go to…
Which schools were bad…
Which jobs were good…
What colors not to wear in certain neighborhoods…
Which colors I needed to in college if I wanted to be popular…
Which restaurants to go to…
Everything.
I learned it from my coloring book.
The place where I was taught to color by numbers.
Never stray from the guide.
Never mix the colors.
But you know…
Sometimes I wish I could still see those blue trees
And purple elephants.
Color in any section that I wanted without being thinking twice.
I wish I could see my box of colors as I did before there were only two.
When my friends weren’t white or black
They were Kim, Kalena, Rico and Ryan
Before the “isms” crept in.
Yes, sometimes I wish I could see those colors,
Or even wish I could be “colorblind”
But the fact of the matter is,
When so many people are crying over colors,
Dying over colors,
Lying over colors,
A color isn’t just a color anymore—
And if I knew that so much pain would one day come from the same colors that once brought me joy,
I might have just skipped art class,
And left those crayons with all of their beautiful and painful colors,
In the box.
_________
Different from former videos this video paid closer attention to purposeful transition. Instead of the default fade out that I always used, This video varied transition type and speed to connect with the poem...for example the swirling connected to the word 'blending'. The split connected to the word 'seperation'. The shaking made the intensity increase in the poem. transitions occurred at different rates.
The sound was difficult for me to manipulate because after my previous video failure with the shotgun mic, I wasn't trusting myself with it again under tight time constraints...that being said, I recorded on the mac which i am also not familiar with doing. I found out how to edit sound and edit my takes in the audio precision editor. I am actually really happy that I did this because it inspired me to animate more of my poetry. Animation is not my specialty, but Gabby and I or even Erin from class could possibly collaborate again in the future or I could perhaps learn from them. :-) I was really happy about collaborating with Gabby to work through animation. Over all I am very happy about how this turned out. I think when we have time to reconnect we should readjust some of the scenes. I would like the scene that talks about 'which colors not to wear in certain neighborboods" to show gangs and the 'which restaurants to go to' to show different color advertising signs for fast food. Success. Finally.
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