Final Reflection

I am really glad that i took this class. It was one of the best experiences that I have had in all my academic career. From the first class I knew I was going to love this class. I really liked the 10 things I noticed class because it was like a metaphysics/mindlfulness exercise for me. It was good because I was simultaneously in counseling dealing with the issues around my father's illness and then death. I noticed my negative thoughts/framing and then tried to make an intentional switch in what I focused on. This is an exercise that I will take with me and one that I think will help other people.

I think that my tech skills progressed through the semester however I didnt get to do as much as i would have liked given the circumstances. The hardest thing was letting go of my perfectionism...I saw very quickly that this is one thing I was not going to be able to perfect over a semester. I had never worked with any of the tech I worked with this semester and I just got a Mac so the class helped me break it in. I am glad now to have a new tool to enhance my poetry and expression. I feel liberated in that sense and was so glad to have the class as an outlett. I was able to help myself and adjust my thinking just by noticing what was going on with me in this class.

Clear writing is clear thinking and I wished on some levels that i could have taken this class when my thoughts were able to be clearer, but I am also glad that this class gave me some tools that I was able to use to navigate myself out of the fog. I have recommended it to everyone I know interested in performance studies.

Mockumentary

Here's the one with the Fairy Use Tale intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuaLlyyrCoU

This video is a project that my students wanted to take up.For the documentary portion of this class I was very uninterested in the idea of a boring or straight forward documentary. I wanted something that was unique and perhaps humorous but informative. I also liked the method that Dr. Squire presented in class about turning the camera over to the subjects. If I did a straight forward documentary, it would have been about how my freshman view media and their new media literacy skills. Through turning over the process, they were able to pick an area that they were interested in make it their own and inject their perspective. What is revealed in the final project gets to some of the issues I would have raised...that my students come to the class with a utopian perspective of media and that a critical perspective needs to be fostered. This comes out in their formal research papers and this is the way their writing looks through video. I was pleased with the outcome.


Through it, they critique video sharing sites. I gave them creative flexibility so that the critique was theirs. I think one of the more interesting things that is revealed though this piece is that they are fairly uncritical of Google (Youtube) and don't get to the real issue of why Youtube is King....If i would have taken control of the project, YouTube might have been an evil King or even a sorcerer casting spells on people to secure its dominance. Their portrayal of Youtube as a benevolent King who could live peacefully with the other video sharing sites is similarly utopian. As these students are primarily advertising students and future media workers and not critics, this is not surprising. Doing this project gave me a better insight into how my students think.

From their perspective this is a fairy tale/mockumentary of Video Sharing Sites. For me it is a mockumentary/fairytale/critique of youth media literacy.

My first draft of this video I had an intro to the video with a Fairy Use Tale and and me mentioning that these were my students etc. I however like the video better without that add in.

On the technical side, because of all of the things that were going on for me at home with my father dying etc...I had to work remotely on this. Turning the process over also meant that I had to trust the students with the raw files. They lost the raw files and only had the version with the water marking over it. They couldn't figure out how to produce a video without the watermarking and this speaks to an issue in their digital literacy/skills as well as access. I like the watermarking because it is a reminder of this and it was a humbling issue that came up for my students who thought themselves to be Tech masters just months prior. The fact that they couldn't figure out a way to share their videos other than Youtube before this project (and then still shared via youtube afterward), everyone used blogger as their blog (as i am now), and most had android phones (also owned by google), had gmail email addresses outside of class... gets to how slight of hand the issue of media ownership and literacy are. Even my default decisions are googleized. They have never questioned their 'mastery' but it turns out they are only fluent in Google. Google search engines, sharing sites, applications etc and perhaps Yahoo...there is also some variation between pc and mac users.

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PRE PRODUCTION NOTES:

Inspired to do something related to media and something that can examine media that people interact with every day. I am teaching a media literacy class so something that is relative to that would be good. Perhaps issues that my students are having with tech literacy...I am considering letting the students pick the topic and letting the project unfold. I am a bit anxious about not controlling every detail of the project. Turning portions of the project over seems interesting and scary. I feel like i may be opening myself up for trouble, but here goes nothing. I will look at this video as a portion of something that i will do in the future which is compile videos of my students understanding of media from their own creative perspectives. I would then like to analyze them all. Therefore, these mini documentaries or mockumentaries would be a part of a larger documentary. I will let them to choose the tech amongst the things we have available.

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After talking to the students, they have decided to research video sharing sites. Which is good because I don't know much about them either. Initially they wanted to do something about Youtube soley...but I encouraged them to incorporate other video sharing sites...they looked dumfounded...OTHER video sharing sites? WHAT other video sharing sites? WOW I thought to myself...this is a project in in of itself. I told them to research video sharing sites other than youtube and pick which ones we should cast. They ultimately picked Blip TV, Vimeo, Daily Motion, Viddler--the top 5 video sharing sites. I expect there to be lots of conflict if they personify them. I am interested to see how these characters might battle. I can only imagine how nasty a Youtube character might be when it comes to competition:-). As far as the resolution, they want the piece to hilight the stregnths and weaknesses of the video sharing sites and ultimately why each one holds the position it holds in society. They want to use a basic macbook camera the tech they are used to. (Which surprised me since most say they are tech savvy...turns out they are not as savvy as they thought).


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Production Notes:

Questions: Which factors contribute to the dominance of one video sharing site over another? How do you envision the future interactions between the sites.

Style: They decided to do it in fairy tale style which I can appreciate because i didn't want a traditional straight forward documentary. They are going to use basic materials (markers, construction paper, straws, computer print outs ) to create a sort of digital puppet show. (Again this could be because they are not as tech savvy as they thought or because of time restraints etc. This should be fine because one of the students is a graphic design major and says she can draw. This is the plan B because they originally wanted to do use digitized characters. From what i understand currently, they have identified Youtube to be King and the kind will have brothers (the other sites) which will argue about who will take over the thrown. That sounds like its on the right track...I would be interested to see what the conversations these sites will have.

Something that worked well was just simply taping the paper on the wall...it looked better than i expected. The Mac camera was ok, but the lighting wasn't the best. We were able to adjust the audio and record in alternative places to reduce the echo effect.

I am particularly excited about the fact that they are controlling the creative process and therefore I will really see what they think about the lay of the media land.

One think I am anxious about is that I now have to work remotely because of my father being critically ill

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Post Production:

Well, my father died. I am now far removed from the process...hope everything goes ok.



I am impressed by the footage the students took. There is a water marking however over some of the material because of something that was done in the conversion phase and the student didn't know how to bypass this. Again, something that spoke to the tech literacy issue. They were able to send things to me via YouSendit. I have been debating whether or not to create a video around their interpretation or to just leave it be. Right now I think I am just going to leave it be. It will be then, their interpretations of the media landscape as a mockumentary fairy tale.


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Presentation:

Stregnths of this piece: creativity --I love the angle they took with the fairy tale. It was something unexpected and something I wouldn't have thought of. Research: I think there is decent research here based on what they found. Humorous: I think this is a light piece which is great. Coherency: I think the piece feels coherent and clear. Great under the circumstances: considering my father's death in the midst of all of this I think a great thing was pulled off.

Weaknesses: Utopian/Uncritical--I think the students didn't have a concept of media ownership which comes out in the utopian tone. We will have to cover this. Watermarking: couldn't get that off. Transition: At least in the piece where it leads with fairy use tale, transitions are a bit abrupt. I like the piece with out that add on a bit better because it doesn't feel as clunky but I miss the information...hmm....Sound was a bit muffled in some cases.

Reflecting on the 10 things I noticed

One thing I noticed is that this was really like an exercise on digital awareness. I notice that i see things in metaphor a lot of the time and I think poetically....however when I am very tired or uninspired I become quite literalistic. This shows in my work. Sometimes, when I look at the sun I see a metaphor for the life cycle....birth, life, death and then birth again...sometimes...particularally if I am depressed...I don't notice the sun at all. This prompt worked particularally well for me as an awareness/self-help tool. i noticed that I was focusing on a lot of negative things in the world. My world felt unfriendly so I created things like this. Toward the end of the semester I learned to interpret this as a critical lense instead of pessimism and learned to envision an alternative which made way for hope. This tone is reflected in my Coloring Book video and the Camerlot video. While both are still critical they still have a playfulness that I now appreciate. That was a success for me. Trying to find ways to smile in times like these. By focusing on the fact that it was dark and the day flew past me and how upset I was about that for example, I missed out on seeing how beautiful the stars were. Its all perspective. I have learned how to turn my camera lense to these things and to direct my thoughts. This is a skill that has ultimately saved me from drowning in my grief this semester.

What I "gave up"

At the beginning of the semester I gave up on the usage of the word 'I don't know.' My boyfriend was the one who saw that I used this term way too much. Turns out when I stopped saying that i didn't know that I actually pushed myself to figure some things out. It was very hard keeping myself from saying it for a week...two weeks. I tried to implement it moving forward and when i am conscious of it it is empowering and I shift myself into being more capable and in charge which is good because everything has been feeling out of control. It challenged me to summon my inner knowing. I have learned that by leading with this approach I have a victorious first step. Any time i didn't lead with this the 'I don't knows' ruined my project :-/ wish I kept it in mind more :-).

Video for Dad Script

Here is my initial script for my video about dad...

"How do you say goodbye to the world’s greatest dad? My father was a superhero (SHOT DAD)…for some people they took that literally. My dad was known around the community as Batman (SHOT OF BATMAN HAT) because of his ability to defy gravity in football and martial arts (SHOTS OF FOOTBALL AND KARATE PICS). Which is pretty cool because if he is batman…then that would make me the Huntress (SHOT OF HUNTRESS)… a long lost comic book heroine that no one knows about…that I discovered to be Batman’s daughter….anyway…My father was a hero he was a loving and attentive father attending all of my games, plays, dance recitals, he was our home room dad, field trip leader (SHOTS OF MY ACTIVITIES/LINS ACTIVITIES)…it seemed he could do everything and he made us feel like we could do everything too. One of my favorite memories of dad is when he and my mother (SHOT OF HIM AND MOM) were debating about what color to paint the house…he sat down with me on the front porch and asked me what color did I think it should be. At the time, I had a fondness for the Smurfs (SHOT OF ME AND SMURFS) so as you might have guessed, I told him the house should be Blue! Now, I wasn’t expecting anything to come of this but about a week later, I got off the school bus and stood in front of a Blue house (SHOT OF THE BLUE HOUSE)! It was amazing. It felt magical. I felt affirmed in my existence even then. My father had a nack for making people feel capable. For several years he poured his time and energy into coaching the Lakota tomahawks (SHOT OF LAKOTA TOMAHAWKS). One boy joined my father’s team because he knew that my father had played for the Raiders, the Packers, and the Cowboys (COWBOYS RAIDERS PACKERS SHOTS). He had played for a few teams before who wouldn’t let him play in the position that he was interested in. My father mentored him in the position he wanted to play and he became quite good at it. Here he is (SHOT OF JOHN CONNOR AND DAD)…does he look familiar? He should…that’s John Connor of the New York Jets (JOHN PLAYING NY JETS). One of my father’s many protégés. My dad had an affinity toward strange foods. Even on his death bed he fantasized about things that would gross some people out (play pocket dial/pigs feet clip)…while he never got that last pigs foot…I was able to bring him some banana pudding (SHOT OF BANANNA PUDDING)…his favorite and more importantly feed him his daily dose of laughter. My dad had a rule. He had to laugh at least once a day…my last semi coherent conversation I made him laugh as we joked about the times he failed beautifully as a handyman around the house…Like the time he sprayed Round up on the dandelions at the house. (SHOT OF ROUND UP) The product did its job and killed the dandelions…the problem was it killed everything else. Mom wasn’t too happy about that. He truly loved my mother. He gave her practically whatever she wanted. (MOM PRINCESS SHOT) He was so grateful for her love and as a matter of fact the last words I heard him say were “I love you” to my mother. (SHOT OF MOM AND DAD) My father was full of love. He was loving and jovial even as his body suffered major setbacks, amputations, infections etc. (DAD HOSPITAL SHOTS) He was a man of faith, teaching us to hold on to God even in times of despair. (DAD BIBLE) This was his favorite chain. (SHOT OF DAD'S CHAIN) He bought it in Mexico on a trip with my mom. He wore it every where. One day I started to take notice of the weather (SHOTS OF THE CLOUDS)…it seemed like it had been cloudy for at least a month. Every now and then the sun would peak through some clouds only to be covered up again. It was as if the sun was struggling to get free. The day they told us dad was going to die soon the weather was cold and windy (SHOTS OF BAD WEATHER), it even seemed like snow flurries were forming. Then at 3:26 in the morning the following day, my father made his transition at Christ hospital on April 6^th. (CHRIST HOSPITAL SHOT) Initially, I was devastated but as I cried over his body in the hospital I noticed the sun rising (SUNRISE) just outside the window. It had a strange calming effect on me. My father was no longer in his body. I had never realized how much his spirit made up his features. Without the laughter peaking through his teeth waiting to come out…I couldn’t recognize him. I was devastated because I thought him to be gone. With him, I thought the abundance of love, compassion, teaching, generosity…would follow him. Then later that day…It was a beautiful sunny day…It was as if the sun had finally broke free. I sat in my front yard crying when I noticed a big bird hovering over me. (RED TAIL HAWK SHOT) At first I thought it was a vultcher but then I noticed it was a hawk…my father was particularly fond of hawks. He loved their protective nature and their watchful eye…Their striking beauty and grace though they were fierce like any well trained martial artist (MARTIAL ARTS SHOT)…Well…this hawk flew in front of the sun casting a shadow on me until finally swooping down in front of me only about 7 to 10 feet in front of me, tracing the side walk and then going back in the air to circle our house. I knew then that my father was trying to get my attention (HAWK ANGEL SHOT). For subsequent days there were several hawks that I encountered. Some that hovered by my window, and others that perched in trees in ironic places…there was one perched in a tree near a kite festival (SHOTS OF KITES). My father and I used to fly kites so I took it as a sign and decided to go to the festival. I later flew a kite in his honor. A couple days later we got rid of his fleet of wheel chairs (SHOTS OF HIS WHEEL CHAIRS). Even the purple people eater as he called it (CLOSE UP OF HIS PURPLE CHAIR). The wheelchair that he bought with that color specified because purple and green were my school colors at the time. This even after he had a sworn vendetta against the color purple after he got sick from binging on jelly beans (JELLY BEAN SHOT) when he was a little boy…the purple one (ZOOM ON PURPLE JELLY BEAN), was the last one that pushed him over the edge he thought. It felt good to know that he would no longer need those wheelchairs and that he could now move without boundaries and could be with me at any time. So how do you say good bye to the world’s greatest father (SHOTS OF DAD)…You Don’t. (END WITH SHOT OF ME AND DAD) "

My Final Video

This is my final video...a collaborative piece with Gabby, a social work undergrad

nothing like what I thought was going to be my final video but the one for my dad was getting me to emotional and was taking a longer time consequently. I turned to my poetry as a coping mechanism and serendipitously fell into a partnership with a social work student who I performed for her class. She wanted to work with me on my poem...which worked out great because the other projects I was working on were stalling.

Here is the poem that I wrote...I performed it slightly differently than this script. Here is the initial script that I wrote.

Coloring Book

When I was just a child,

Colors

Were a part of my art lessons.

Things teachers hung on the walls as inspiration and gateways for self-expression.

Like God gift wrapped the rainbow just for our amusement.

There were never mistakes.

Never any rules about when and where to use them.

I colored in the pictures, skipped right over the lines and never once

looked over my shoulder while doing so.

I would color the corners, my desk, the walls—the world was my palate and I could transcend all boundaries.

No one could contain or own such beautiful colors

And one would be a fool to try.

But soon,

I was introduced to a new coloring system.

“Stay in the lines” they said.

Only brown and green could be used for trees.

“No, no, no..there’s no such thing as a purple elephant,

Here let me get you a grey crayon.”

Soon even I could see the separation.

Blues from greens,

Reds from yellows,

But none so much so as white from black.

They were the mysterious unused crayons that refused to mingle

Or the black would smudge the perfection of the white tip,

Or the white would dilute the power statement of pitch black.

The world became like my crayon box.

Not the ways of blending but the separation.

Only the black and white.

Fixated on the black and white.

Why is everything so damn black and white?

And even when other colors emerged, they held similar boundaries.

Soon I knew without question where to sit in the lunchroom and on the bus…

Which church to go to…

Which schools were bad…

Which jobs were good…

What colors not to wear in certain neighborhoods…

Which colors I needed to in college if I wanted to be popular…

Which restaurants to go to…

Everything.

I learned it from my coloring book.

The place where I was taught to color by numbers.

Never stray from the guide.

Never mix the colors.

But you know…

Sometimes I wish I could still see those blue trees

And purple elephants.

Color in any section that I wanted without being thinking twice.

I wish I could see my box of colors as I did before there were only two.

When my friends weren’t white or black

They were Kim, Kalena, Rico and Ryan

Before the “isms” crept in.

Yes, sometimes I wish I could see those colors,

Or even wish I could be “colorblind”

But the fact of the matter is,

When so many people are crying over colors,

Dying over colors,

Lying over colors,

A color isn’t just a color anymore—

And if I knew that so much pain would one day come from the same colors that once brought me joy,

I might have just skipped art class,

And left those crayons with all of their beautiful and painful colors,

In the box.

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Different from former videos this video paid closer attention to purposeful transition. Instead of the default fade out that I always used, This video varied transition type and speed to connect with the poem...for example the swirling connected to the word 'blending'. The split connected to the word 'seperation'. The shaking made the intensity increase in the poem. transitions occurred at different rates.

The sound was difficult for me to manipulate because after my previous video failure with the shotgun mic, I wasn't trusting myself with it again under tight time constraints...that being said, I recorded on the mac which i am also not familiar with doing. I found out how to edit sound and edit my takes in the audio precision editor. I am actually really happy that I did this because it inspired me to animate more of my poetry. Animation is not my specialty, but Gabby and I or even Erin from class could possibly collaborate again in the future or I could perhaps learn from them. :-) I was really happy about collaborating with Gabby to work through animation. Over all I am very happy about how this turned out. I think when we have time to reconnect we should readjust some of the scenes. I would like the scene that talks about 'which colors not to wear in certain neighborboods" to show gangs and the 'which restaurants to go to' to show different color advertising signs for fast food. Success. Finally.

Video for the I.D.E.A. Store

Video 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9wt16Vtv3g
Video 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-Xdx331FnY
Video 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQahA85BxpA

This assignment was particularally challenging though the most visually simple. I decided to push myself to use a camera outside of my camera phone so I tried the HD camera and the shot gun mic. This failed miserably as the mic recorded no sound, the battery in the camera died, and the tripod wasn't tall enough to do what I wanted to do. Beyond this, the video was impossible to get off the camera and even stumped the techs. I am so glad that I threw in the towel on the camera early into the session and went back to my handy dandy HTC EVO. Its a bit shaky as it was difficult to follow the instructor going so fast. This is the rough draft of a video I created for them. This class inspired me to help the idea store expand their offerings to have video recorded classes that people could download and purchase as opposed to having to be in the store. I can't quite figure out how to make things transition smoother, I think there is a lot of chatter that I would love to edit out but she is giving instruction and they wanted to make sure it was her voice not a voice over...which was my original solution. They also only wanted shots of her hands, none of the participants and i could only be in a specific corner. If they're happy...im happy...i guess. lol