My Final Video

This is my final video...a collaborative piece with Gabby, a social work undergrad

nothing like what I thought was going to be my final video but the one for my dad was getting me to emotional and was taking a longer time consequently. I turned to my poetry as a coping mechanism and serendipitously fell into a partnership with a social work student who I performed for her class. She wanted to work with me on my poem...which worked out great because the other projects I was working on were stalling.

Here is the poem that I wrote...I performed it slightly differently than this script. Here is the initial script that I wrote.

Coloring Book

When I was just a child,

Colors

Were a part of my art lessons.

Things teachers hung on the walls as inspiration and gateways for self-expression.

Like God gift wrapped the rainbow just for our amusement.

There were never mistakes.

Never any rules about when and where to use them.

I colored in the pictures, skipped right over the lines and never once

looked over my shoulder while doing so.

I would color the corners, my desk, the walls—the world was my palate and I could transcend all boundaries.

No one could contain or own such beautiful colors

And one would be a fool to try.

But soon,

I was introduced to a new coloring system.

“Stay in the lines” they said.

Only brown and green could be used for trees.

“No, no, no..there’s no such thing as a purple elephant,

Here let me get you a grey crayon.”

Soon even I could see the separation.

Blues from greens,

Reds from yellows,

But none so much so as white from black.

They were the mysterious unused crayons that refused to mingle

Or the black would smudge the perfection of the white tip,

Or the white would dilute the power statement of pitch black.

The world became like my crayon box.

Not the ways of blending but the separation.

Only the black and white.

Fixated on the black and white.

Why is everything so damn black and white?

And even when other colors emerged, they held similar boundaries.

Soon I knew without question where to sit in the lunchroom and on the bus…

Which church to go to…

Which schools were bad…

Which jobs were good…

What colors not to wear in certain neighborhoods…

Which colors I needed to in college if I wanted to be popular…

Which restaurants to go to…

Everything.

I learned it from my coloring book.

The place where I was taught to color by numbers.

Never stray from the guide.

Never mix the colors.

But you know…

Sometimes I wish I could still see those blue trees

And purple elephants.

Color in any section that I wanted without being thinking twice.

I wish I could see my box of colors as I did before there were only two.

When my friends weren’t white or black

They were Kim, Kalena, Rico and Ryan

Before the “isms” crept in.

Yes, sometimes I wish I could see those colors,

Or even wish I could be “colorblind”

But the fact of the matter is,

When so many people are crying over colors,

Dying over colors,

Lying over colors,

A color isn’t just a color anymore—

And if I knew that so much pain would one day come from the same colors that once brought me joy,

I might have just skipped art class,

And left those crayons with all of their beautiful and painful colors,

In the box.

_________

Different from former videos this video paid closer attention to purposeful transition. Instead of the default fade out that I always used, This video varied transition type and speed to connect with the poem...for example the swirling connected to the word 'blending'. The split connected to the word 'seperation'. The shaking made the intensity increase in the poem. transitions occurred at different rates.

The sound was difficult for me to manipulate because after my previous video failure with the shotgun mic, I wasn't trusting myself with it again under tight time constraints...that being said, I recorded on the mac which i am also not familiar with doing. I found out how to edit sound and edit my takes in the audio precision editor. I am actually really happy that I did this because it inspired me to animate more of my poetry. Animation is not my specialty, but Gabby and I or even Erin from class could possibly collaborate again in the future or I could perhaps learn from them. :-) I was really happy about collaborating with Gabby to work through animation. Over all I am very happy about how this turned out. I think when we have time to reconnect we should readjust some of the scenes. I would like the scene that talks about 'which colors not to wear in certain neighborboods" to show gangs and the 'which restaurants to go to' to show different color advertising signs for fast food. Success. Finally.

Video for the I.D.E.A. Store

Video 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9wt16Vtv3g
Video 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-Xdx331FnY
Video 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQahA85BxpA

This assignment was particularally challenging though the most visually simple. I decided to push myself to use a camera outside of my camera phone so I tried the HD camera and the shot gun mic. This failed miserably as the mic recorded no sound, the battery in the camera died, and the tripod wasn't tall enough to do what I wanted to do. Beyond this, the video was impossible to get off the camera and even stumped the techs. I am so glad that I threw in the towel on the camera early into the session and went back to my handy dandy HTC EVO. Its a bit shaky as it was difficult to follow the instructor going so fast. This is the rough draft of a video I created for them. This class inspired me to help the idea store expand their offerings to have video recorded classes that people could download and purchase as opposed to having to be in the store. I can't quite figure out how to make things transition smoother, I think there is a lot of chatter that I would love to edit out but she is giving instruction and they wanted to make sure it was her voice not a voice over...which was my original solution. They also only wanted shots of her hands, none of the participants and i could only be in a specific corner. If they're happy...im happy...i guess. lol

Motifs and Metaphors

These are all motifs and metaphor videos (the one for theo was not made for class but there was an experiential motif...i used objects that represented some experience along side pictures and made a video around the cool things we have done together). The other vids were made specifically for the course. The don't throw me away piece is something that I will probably revisit when the class is finished and i will smooth it out. Additionally at the end I would like to show trash that has been re-purposed to make upscale goods and show that juxtoposed against people (particularally black men) who have gone to prison, was given a second chance and now they are upstanding citizens....like for example Judge Joe Brown.

I particularally was in love with working on the don't throw me away piece as I experimented with remix culture and appropriation. I was inspired to create this piece after the reading on metaphors. I watched all of the videos relating to metaphors. I also saw this quote "The greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor. It is the one thing that cannot be learned from others; it is also a sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an eye for resemblance.
Aristotle, Poetics" This inspired me because I do think that I think in metaphor as a poet. When I see an object I look past the object and start to make connections to other things. So in the don't throw me away piece I used 2 motifs that I created and smashed them together with alternating images to create a metaphor.

Additionally, I really appreciated the writing style of Twala Tharp. It was refreshing to have something that i enjoyed reading at this level.

There is a lot of debate about whether or not I would be considered the author of such a piece. I would say I am. I am the one after all controlling the over all ending message and presentation no different from a Found Object art piece or a collage. At the same time, there are other authors embeded in the work. They however didn't intend to have their work say the things I am saying. I took great care in editing these videos running them in reverse (in the case of the trash that was an anti-litter video where the trash crawled into the bin), slowing things down, speeding them up. Ultimately, i wanted to say that we as a culture tend to throw things away without any thought of repurpsing. This is as much about sustainability and green movement work as it is about social justice and race. Instead of throwing things again, they can be given new chances and thus decrease the problems that we currently face. In the case of trash, our landfills are over filled and the things that get thrown in pollute our atmosphere. Similarly, black men get thrown into prison and if and when they are released they are not educated, given jobs etc and start to errode social fabric. The ones that are not released are masses of human potential that would never be realized.

Here are the materials that inspired my video. These sources deal with copyright, 'authorship', appropriation, participatory culture and ultimately democracy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q25-S7jzgs
http://www.hulu.com/watch/88782/rip-a-remix-manifesto
If you want to see a full song/video by girl talk here is an example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JBAxkZun3s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJn_jC4FNDohttp://digitallearning.macfound.org/atf/cf/%7B7E45C7E0-A3E0-4B89-AC9C-E807E1B0AE4E%7D/JENKINS_WHITE_PAPER.PDF

The class I teach is Media Literacy Ms166 so we deal with this topic. I am also working with Dr. Denzin to think through some of this as it relates to performance studies.

Also I like the idea of mockumentaries and thought i would share this one I found:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLgh9h2ePYw



Don’t Throw me away rough draft 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XhzYIGcDX8

Don’t Throw me away rough draft 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBry1p23NCo

Red wine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HlXNADvtTc

Is everybody going crazy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udxFcvks8Ak

Theo Valentines Day video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT2cGLXVVbU

(Due to copyright issues the sound is missing. I have the file on my computer.)

Maybe too ambitious....

So I was going to make a video about dad because that's all that i can think about however i am finding that I cant get through it. Its still too fresh and emotional...My thoughts feel scattered and my creative process has been DRASTICALLY altered in this state :-( ....moving on to plan....F.... maybe.....

Final Video Idea

As I think about my father's final transition of life I was inspired to make my final video about him...after all, I can't think about anything else. This class has taught me so many things and I was excited to have the opportunity to apply them in my father's honor for his funeral. I sat down to scan, upload adjust all of my photos began collecting vocal footage from voice mail messages etc. but I still have not let go of my nagging need for perfection....though it is impossible to achieve. I was vexed that my sound was off...I wish I had a shotgun mic I thought to myself as the funeral services went on. I wish my camera was in hd when we captured family moments...etc. then I would be able to make a video worthy of my fathers memory. Even after accepting my technical limitations I still emotionally found it nearly impossible to assemble because of the emotional difficulty despite the technical ease that this process now has because of practice. I ended up having to turn the initial job over to my friend to do his funeral video...perhaps that was too ambitious of me to think that I could possibly make the best video ever and do it in such emotional conditions with only a 4 day window. I was tormented. I did however make a video for him leading up to the funeral.

I have finally come to a resolve of accepting my limitations in this instance. I have also resolved to do a memorial video in my father's honor to give to friends and family. I would like to do it as my final video. I hope that I can get through it.

Here is a video I took when I went home of dad. I encouraged him to say 'lindsey i love you' at this stage he was very confused so scripting was necessary.

My Creative Process Writing Prompt

Describe your personal creative or research process. Provide any information you can on typical approach to creative inquiry in your field. Define the word research as it relates to your work:

 

My creative process works best when I am in alignment spiritually with the surrounding universe. It must be sincere. It starts with right brain thinking and the spirit. The left brain logic comes second hand. In my poetry, most of my work is free written and never edited first drafts. Interestingly, the poems I have edited people prefer them less to my raw poems. This says something to the point of sincerity. As Twyla Tharp alluded to, I have been a victim of my own thoughts, my own internal editor inviting me to fear povery. As an African American woman there are a lot of things that you dream of becoming, poor is not one of them. The more statistics I read, the more it evokes a sense of fear that makes me question the reliance on my internal spirit guide because it seems the academy feels its invalid. In my field I don’t know how creative inquiry is gone about since Communications is such a broad field. Those who are on the quantitative side seem to rely on ocular centric evidence and many of the qualitative types rely on auditory evidence and other forms…there are some that also invite spirit evidence. Gut feelings. Inner knowings. I am such a scholar in my private time but not in my ‘research’ at this point.

How I came into this: Background in mktg and adv --wanted to change marketing discourse around representation. Being a producer of media allows some progress in that area…additionally since I have been here I have been feeling more and more detached from non-academics. I feel the academy has a bad habit of hoarding knowledge and not sharing in an accessible way. Im a slam poet and a former corporate marketer and I got used to the idea of living a double life. Creativity seems more free and honest than ‘research’ in its connotation.

 

Idea for my Documentary

I have been personally interested in the area of African American females wearing their natural hair for a while and I have personally transitioned to natural hair from chemically straightened hair. Many African American mothers are interested in cultivating a positive self esteem for their daughters by showing them media and toys that affirm their natural beauty. Dolls are of concern to the community and though dolls have made progress over the years to become more inclusive, the hair is often straight. This makes some sence seeing that most african american women wear their hair straightened however there is a growing resurgance of women wanting to reclaim their natural beauty and want to see it replicated for their daughters. Some women have resorted to trolling or rerooting doll hair in order to replace the factory hair with kinky hair or even dreadlocks. I was thinking about interviewing Black women with an interest or concern for natural hair and their thoughts on dolls and also a woman who has specialized in spinning dreadlocks for dolls.

One issue I have come across is that the woman is sick and can not meet in person so we have been emailing only. I can incorporate our emailed conversations in the video perhaps. So far I am thinking of a mixture of found and original footage. Found footage may be from media that has dealt with black identity as it relates to natural hair (Good Hairmovie, Tyra Banks Show, My nappy Roots, Advertisements) original footage possibly of ladies I may interview or of me attempting to re-root a doll. Here are some of the questions I may ask the re-rooter:

How long have you been in the business of re-rooting/trolling?

What led you to the business?

Can you briefly describe the differences between of re-rooting, trolling and repainting?

What do you feel your work contributes to society? Why is this craft/trade important to you?

What are challenges that get in your way?

What plans do you have to pass the torch if any (since you mentioned you have retired)?

Could you describe your process of making the hair (spinning, dying etc)?

Can you describe the types of hair you have and what effects you get by combining them?

As an African American female who grew up with dolls with nylon hair I was particularly awe stricken by your dolls and dolls that were made by your hair. Did you intentionally create dolls to feel this void or was it more serendipitous?

How does this work make you feel?

How profitable has this business been for you? If you don't do the business for profit primarily, why do you do it?

How does it feel to know that you have personally done what doll makers refuse to do which is to acknowledge the natural beauty of black women?

Where do you normally get your dolls from and why?

For Ladies interested in natural hair dolls i may ask:

Is it important to you that your child plays with a doll with natural hair?

If given the option between a straight haired doll and a natural doll which would you choose?

How much would you be willing to pay for a doll with natural looking hair (dreads etc)?

Have you ever attempted to buy such a doll for your child or someone you know?

Reflect on your own experience with dolls, what would this have meant to you?